Sunday, April 4, 2010


How do you know if you're making a right decision? How can you tell if something is the best choice for you, and that you'll be happy with what it brings? These are a couple of questions that fascinate me, because of their subjectivity.

For instance, if I choose to go outside without suntan lotion because I don't feel like putting any on, and then subsequently become terribly sunburned, does that make it bad decision?  What makes a poor decision? I think most would say 'yes' it was the wrong choice because I hurt myself. However, on the other hand, I followed what I wanted to do. Even though the outcome resulted in a nasty sunburn, I still did what I thought was right for me, and could learn from it. I think I'd be more inclined to wear the suntan lotion the next time. But if I chose to put on suntan lotion the first time I wouldn't have learned about the consequences of being in the sun unprotected, and I would not have had the experience of being burned. I believe one makes the right choice by following their own path of what feels best for them.  If we were to live our lives deciding on actions based on the outcome of avoiding all possible pain or despair, would we still be living a full and dynamic life?

I think this also hooks in with the idea of perfection. Sometimes, I get caught feeling that I should carefully analyze every decision in order to make sure it will be the best for me. If I make all the "right" choices and try to be the most perfect I can be, won't I be happy? Not necessarily, because even though I think I'm making the best choice, that doesn't mean I'm following what I want to do in the given moment. There is a difference between thinking about what one should do versus what he/she feels like doing. The need to try and make the best possible choice can put tremendous pressure on myself, and I would think, anyone else who gets into this mode of contemplation too. When these thoughts surface, I can decide whether or not I want to stay in them, depending on the right feeling place. But with all the pressure to be perfect, this more often than not does not provide pure happiness. In my case, I usually do not like the overwhelming desire to be flawless and like to remind myself that life is only perfect because of all its imperfections.

In addition, I think that if everything was perfect, there would no longer be laughing, crying,  happiness, or sadness. We would lose our reference points to these emotions, and the scope of our feelings would diminish from the lack of emotional movement. Without emotional adversity, there would be no growth, and feelings could disappear altogether. What would we feel if everything was always the same? If the definition of perfection is to not make mistakes, then a perfect life would be unavoidably trite and lack substance. This is one reason why I think a better definition of perfection is to be imperfect, and a perfect life is to embrace the balance and range of all we experience.

Discussion Questions (feel free to comment!): How do you know if you're making a right decision? How can you tell? What does perfection mean to you?


  1. Are we supposed to comment here or on the facebook page? Talk about making the right decision... Hopefully this is it. From a grade school perspective, positive reinforcement would be where the confirmation of a right decision comes from.

    In your sun tan example, I don't necessary agree that you "did what you thought was right for me." You knowingly took a risk which by definition means you put yourself in harms way where sometimes harms catch you and sometimes you duck in time.

    You say next: "if I chose to put on suntan lotion the first time I wouldn't have learned about the consequences of being in the sun unprotected." I gotta disagree here and go down the Darwin route (one of my fav's) and say, learning from other's mistakes, you can see other burnt faces and pick up on whether certain risks are worth taking or not.

    In the end, I do agree with your conclusion that it's all subjective anyway. I looked up the definition of "perfect" which meets an ideal, which is as many other things, is subjective.

    The reason we must still be friends is because our "ideal woman" will most likely never be the same woman. That is until that half-Jewish, half-thick, half.. ok I'll stop there...

  2. Perfection has always meant making the right choices. I find myself too often stuck in making the "right" choices (for me and everyone else) and trying not to make any "mistakes." I have come to understand that true happiness and living an authentic life in the present moment lies in making the choices that truly follow my feelings that may not always be "perfect."

  3. Once again, the depth of your thoughts and your ability to articulate them moves me. I am in total agreement with your thinking and I emphatically believe that there is NO right or wrong. I fully experience my life by choosing to consciously follow my heart ---and that is perfectly imperfect!

  4. Wonderful comments! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!